Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
