Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
