Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize