i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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