My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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