u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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