Christians are straight up FREAKS
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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