so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
