k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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