I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
