when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He better not be in your backpack
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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