Say something about gay babies.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
