Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize