Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
