just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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