he was CRYING into my vagina
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
