I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
