Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
