ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize