I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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