I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
