We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
