Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
