They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
