I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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