It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
