I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
