remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
