I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Green mimosas i think yes
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
