OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
only if we run a train.
done.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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