you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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