"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
