I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
