My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
