Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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