Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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