My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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