So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
