You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
one might say we're banned from that church
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
