But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
