She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize