Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
