well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
