i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you had me at cake vodka
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
