wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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