you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize