Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
