Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
