Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
