okay pat passed out under dana's car
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
