I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize