im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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