Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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