I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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