girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
