just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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