I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
