let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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