I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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