you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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