Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize