What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
