quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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