Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
