well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
