Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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