I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
