I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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