rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
