I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
