There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
