he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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