I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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