Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
